There’s a feeling in my chest, kind of tight, almost heavy. Part guilt, part anguish. It’s the pre-apology feeling, and I hate it.
I’ve gotten really good over the years at avoiding having to say sorry. Maybe that’s why when I do trip up, my chest knots up. It’s also why this article on “A Bettter Way to Say Sorry” resonated with me.
Four simple steps:
I’m sorry for… This is wrong because… In the future, I will…
Will you forgive me?
I love it, because it’s practical and it’s structured. Hopefully I won’t have to use it soon, but when I do I know what to do.
In college, first question for a new person: what’s your major?
I don’t know yet.
It’s _______, but I might change to…
I’m thinking of…
I really like ______, so maybe …?
Since graduating college, it’s all about: what do you do?
On the surface, the two questions are similar. They both ask about the major focus in our lives at the moment.
Only, they ask on two very different levels. In college, everyone already knows what you do. You’re a student. So, the first question is more about interest. Plus, no one knows what they’re doing, so I felt a great freedom in that.
What about now in the “real world”? I believe life is about more than “what do you do?”. It’s about “what are you passionate about?”.
In light of graduation weekend (for my alma mater, UCLA), I wanted to share some quotes about life, work, and meaning.
4. Find a job you like and you will add five days to every week.– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
7. You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.– D.M. Dellinger
19. In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all.– Gandhi
24. You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.– Maya Angelou
29. If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.– Thomas Edison
30. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.– Proverb
Read the whole list where I found these on Good.co’s blog here
Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.
Before leaving for my last weekend trip, I realized I had 1 pair of (clean) underwear, a dirty bathroom, and a cluttered room. Oh, and no food left in the fridge. You know what, that’s life.
Maybe doing laundry and cleaning house isn’t progress. Maybe some days I have to re-remember what my goals are. Or what’s great about my life. That’s okay. It’s all part of life’s cha-cha.
I find it comforting to think of the back and forth of the world as a dance, rather than being ahead or behind. Stepping back is part of the dance. It’s part of life. It’s normal. It’s valid. And, it’s just as much a part of life as stepping forward.