An insightful read. Below are some excerpts I liked:
“Sally is conscious of how well she comes across — you can’t be as appealing as she is without being aware of it. But that doesn’t mean her amygdala knows it. When she arrives at a party, Sally often wishes she could hide behind the nearest couch — until her prefrontal cortex takes over and she remembers what a good conversationalist she is. Even so, her amygdala, with its lifetime of stored associations between strangers and anxiety, sometimes prevails. Sally admits that sometimes she drives an hour to a party and then leaves five minutes after arriving.”
“But Little, an ethical and sympathetic man who happens to be an extremely high self-monitor, sees things differently. He views self-monitoring as an act of modesty. It’s about accommodating oneself to situational norms, rather than ‘grinding down everything to one’s own needs and concerns.’…
Best friends are the people you wake up with at 4am by accident and stay awake for hours giggling in bed because it’s so much more fun to be awake with them than it is to sleep. They are the ones you can confess your weird crush on Severus Snape to, the ones who comfort you when your favorite character dies on Grey’s. They accept your weirdness and idiosyncrasies and you feel comfortable revealing them, because they share theirs too.
Who your best friend(s) is(are), I hope you text them to say thanks for being in my life. Or text them about the cute boy at the coffee shop. Or text them I love you. (But really, text them about the boy.)
At UCLA, there was one class I was disappointed not to find: how to be a grown up. No lecture course, no discussion. Not even a P/NP seminar. Somehow all the adults I knew seemed to know how to be adults, so where was my handbook?
I haven’t found one yet, but I’m learning a lot along the way. That includes re-learning things I knew as a child (play is a wonderful thing) and things I learned the hard way (self-criticism is often the harshest and most destructive).