Article: what is emotional labor?

I’ve heard “emotional labor” a lot, but this is the first time I’ve read an actual definition.

From the article:

Arlie Hochschild: Emotional labor, as I introduced the term in The Managed Heart, is the work, for which you’re paid, which centrally involves trying to feel the right feeling for the job. This involves evoking and suppressing feelings. Some jobs require a lot of it, some a little of it. From the flight attendant whose job it is to be nicer than natural to the bill collector whose job it is to be, if necessary, harsher than natural, there are a variety of jobs that call for this. Teachers, nursing-home attendants, and child-care workers are examples. The point is that while you may also be doing physical labor and mental labor, you are crucially being hired and monitored for your capacity to manage and produce a feeling.

The Concept Creep of ‘Emotional Labor’

The term has become a central part of an important conversation about the division of household work. But the sociologist who coined it says it’s being used incorrectly.

By Julie Beck

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/11/arlie-hochschild-housework-isnt-emotional-labor/576637/

Video: Imago Method

Imago dialogue

One sender. One receiver. (No back and forth)

Initiate by asking is they’re available for an appointment & name the topic (going to see my family, spending more time together, etc)

Have appointment within 24 hours (A promise and a predictability to generate safety)

Before dialogue starts:

– eye contact and 3 deep breaths in sync

-sender shares 1 genuine appreciation before beginning

1. Mirror – sender shares, receive mirrors as accurately as possible (repeat with their words) and then “did I get that?”

Then confirm or correct

Magic question: Is there more about that?

2. Validate – I get where you’re coming from, I see the logic, you make sense

(if it doesn’t, “can you say more?” “Can you help me understand?”)

3. Empathize – share you they said they feel (“you said you’re feeling hurt”) or what you imagine (“I imagine maybe sad and lonely too”)

Then “did I get that?” Or “are those your feelings?”

And “is there more?”

Close

– thank you for sharing / thank you for listening

– hug for 1 minute

And then often switch roles if the other person has things to share

Article: Tips from monastic life

Though it’s intended for a more religious/theological audience, I appreciated this article on monastic advice. The bottom line being:

1. I do not know what this day will bring, but I will live it the best I can, with an attitude of love and generosity.

2. I am grateful for the good I experience today, but I do not fear the bad, which is part of being alive and an opportunity for learning and growth.

3. I do not possess the absolute truth, but today I will seek it with honesty, an open heart, and a spirit of adventure.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/some-dominican-wisdom-we-can-all-use/678439/